Retro Raunch Revisit

ALLIGATOR (1980)
Robert Forster, Robin Riker, Michael V. Gazzo, Henry Silva, Dean Jagger, Jack Carter, Patti Jerome
Directed by Lewis Teague
Released on November 14, 1980 (Happy 40th Anniversary)
Chicago, that toddlin' town. (Or are we really in Missouri?) August 1968. Marisa Kendall has just returned with her family from a Florida vacation (complete with an alligator wrestlin' show where a performer was badly injured by his animal opponent and almost became lunch). She's brought back a baby alligator she bought, and named it Ramón. Mean Dad is none too thrilled about this wee sprog of a pet, and flushes it down the toilet where it makes its new residence in the sewers. Ramón survives by eating dead dogs which have been dumped in the sewers (not counting the obvious and endless hors d'oeuvres of disgusting rats scurrying around). The canines were part of secret & illegal lab tests, all injected with a genetic growth formula. The project was being run by a nefarious pharmaceutical corporation, and scrapped because of the side effects of alarming hormone growth and voracious appetite. Having fed on these carcasses, the alligator mutated into a gigantic 36ft. beast, with impenetrable skin. And with the experimental hyper-serum coursing through its body, this is one Ramón who is not sedated♪ 12yrs have passed, and now with sewer workers being gobbled up, and human limbs washing up, Officer David Madison is assigned to both a rash of pet disappearances and the grisly investigation. He has a bad rep for unluckiness with partners thanks to a case he worked in St. Louis that finished in fiasco. With the news running a 'Jack the Ripper-like madman at large' angle, Madison meets Marisa, who has grown up to become a herpetologist (reptile & amphibian expert). Both begin a rocky Burton/Taylor affair, and he gets along with her rambling Mom. The couple also have warm discussions about male baldness.

When Madison ventures in the sewers with an enthusiastic young cop named Jim Kelly (too bad it wasn't the blaxploitation karate hero(!), looking for clues, Ramón puts the hi-yah! chomp on Kelly, dragging him away. Madison's freaked out account falls on deaf ears, and he is further helped in being disbelieved by Slade, a wealthy bigshot industrialist in the Windy City (or are we really in Missouri?) with an agenda: he wants to cover up his dubious involvement with the lab tests. Things ramp up when tabloid reporter, Thomas Kemp, ventures in the sewers looking for undeniable proof of the alligator. Kemp is a smearing nuisance and pain in the ass of Madison, but he gets the shocking photographic evidence needed at the expense of becoming Ramón's latest snack (as well as making the front page with his own demise). The story becomes a public sensation and an all out hunt begins to flush out the massive creature. As the police and SWAT (some armed with rocket launchers) fail in their efforts, and with Madison fired (for getting to close to the truth by uncovering the lab connections), Ramón has decided to expand his geographical horizons. Yes, tired of stalking subterraneously in putrid and dank dwellings, the creature finally comes above ground by bursting through a sidewalk to interrupt a night game of street stickball. After another cop is killed, egotistic big-game hunter Colonel Brock (who hires a trio of ghetto kids as "native guides" for assistance) is brought in to track the beast. He is hilarious when he flirts with a TV newswoman by imitating a male alligator in heat, and again when he later finds an enormous dung heap. A young boy in his backyard birthday party ends up on the menu after a tragic game of swimming pool 'walk the plank', and Brock becomes a meal when he is ambushed from out of a garbage pile in jive-named Booger Alley.

Like arrogant Great White Hunters before him, it was only a matter of time before he met his match that turned him into the prey. Same as before, law enforcement fails to bag the creature after a bungled chase in a reservoir, and an uninvited Ramón (just wanting to have something to do♪) gatecrashes a garden wedding reception held at Slade's mansion. Plowing through the jet set, and skipping the champagne & cake, the alligator stomps and crushes his way towards human hamburger as Slade, the crooked Mayor, the groom (who was a lab scientist conducting the tests) and several other guests all become fatal food. Ramón biting his way into this snooty social register (with his own unique version of these people = gourmet cuisine) on the most special & unforgettable of happy, ceremonial occasions will not quickly be forgotten. Madison and Marisa follow Ramón back into the sewer, where David lures him to a section that has been packed with dynamite charges. Killed by a huge detonation of explosives, we bid farewell Ramón: you don't have to live this life anymore♪ As the couple walk away together after blowing up the beast, a drain in the sewer dribbles out another baby alligator. Using the premise of an old NYC urban legend, the threat of ecological nightmare striking back as nature's karma, and a little mad science; from the belly of a city to the bowels of a monster, ALLIGATOR (riding on the back of the popularity of JAWS, and JAWS 2) is an enjoyable thriller. With it's mixture of action, and eccentric rounded out characters, there is a solid pacing that never plods, decent practical fx (which should be commended for not looking too cumbersome like Bruce the shark, and of which Bryan Cranston worked as a production assistant), and real juvenile gators crawling through some miniature model sets (which will garner laughs for looking ill-advised).

All told, there is a rollicking and pre-CGI glorious good time to be had here. The movie's sewer scenes have a creepy atmospheric touch, and with its fine dose of humor, film & TV pop culture fans will get the witty injokes about Ed Norton and Harry Lime. Together, this complimentary balance of fear and even slight frolic gels well together: When unsavory pet store owner/dog catcher, Luke Gutchel (who sold poor lil' pups to the lab, and callously disposed of their bodies) becomes an early victim in the sewer, a stage is set for more comeuppance. When victims are trapped in the creature's gargantuan gaping mouth, it looks frighteningly real. And when we see the rampage through the demolished wedding, the crème de la crème carnage and bourgeois ruin is wonderfully silly & over the top. Also of note is how this monster deserves props -- he's no slouch and more than just a devouring machine, he actually manages to get himself around Chi-Town (or are we really in Missouri?)... [An awful SyFy remake placing us in Chicago would go overboard to incorporate the Sears/Willis Tower; Wrigley Field; the Bean in Millennium Park; the Biograph Theatre; the Daley Plaza; and of course, the famed River. And I wouldn't rule out the old Joliet Prison either]. Written by screenwriter/director/actor John Sayles (who slips in jabs at media circus frenzy, the class system in the USA, and torturous vivisection), ALLIGATOR brings the chomp and delivers. [Sayles had just done PIRANHA (1978) and THE HOWLING (1981) would be next]. While there are plenty of oversized, maneating gator/croc pictures to sink your teeth into, this beloved and fun B-movie is one of the very best in the bunch.